Childhood Tales

Father’s Day: The Sequel

June 20, 2010
By Freakmaster
Father’s Day: The Sequel

It’s odd that on this particular Father’s Day, after feeling the short-shrift the majority of my life, I’m strangely released from the sadness of my paternal upbringing (if you can even call it that). Maybe I’ve just hashed the living prose out of it so much that I’ve set free some of those demons...
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Speak, Pal, Speak To Santa!

December 18, 2009
By Freakmaster
Speak, Pal, Speak To Santa!

By the fourth grade I should have known better. I should have known that I was going to take my lumps for hanging onto Santa Claus the way I did but, damn, I’m nothing if not dogged in my point of view and that pretty much brings up another associated problem at the time....
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Bonfire of the Families

November 16, 2009
By Freakmaster
Bonfire of the Families

When I was growing up in the ’50′s and ’60′s, environmental concerns weren’t on the average person’s radar and, in fact, Rachel Carlson’s ground breaking 1962 book, Silent Spring, was the only serious look at pollution and was primarily concerned with the use of poisonous chemicals, dispersed in the ground water supply. So, when...
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Solitary Definement

November 4, 2009
By Freakmaster
Solitary Definement

After years of assessing my strengths and weaknesses, there’s no doubt I’m a highly distractable person. What would that be in today’s coded vernacular…HDP? I’m sure if I were in high school now, psychologists would be breaking it all down into a neat little prescription to be filled at the pharmacy but all it...
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Hallowed Be Thy Haul

October 15, 2009
By Freakmaster
Hallowed Be Thy Haul

When I was at the peak of my ‘Trick or Treat’ powers, primarily the grade school years, neighborhoods far and wide opened up like candy dispensaries. It wasn’t just a particular street or area that opened up its doors but every street and nearly every door. As long as you could keep walking was...
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Transcendental Test Pattern

September 4, 2009
By Freakmaster
Transcendental Test Pattern

In the 1950′s, unlike today, TV broadcasts had a daily shelf life and at some time in the morning, say 3am or so, after the late movie and some nebulous local half hour show no one watched, the voice-over announcer would explain that the broadcast day had concluded and would return at such and...
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Elvis Training Wheels

August 17, 2009
By Freakmaster
Elvis Training Wheels

I don’t think I ever quite got the worth of Kindergarten. Back in 1956, pre-school hadn’t been created and kindergarten was the launching pad for your school years. Most of the kids in my class were discovering the wonders of their newfound social circle, while others were simply enthralled with their own boogers or...
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Frederick the Great

July 28, 2009
By Freakmaster
Frederick the Great

My dad (father #2) loved the grandiosity of staged illusion and made it a major part of his performing repertoire. When he spoke of the history of magic and magicians it was with great reverence for the craft and he worked hard to hone his own skills so that they were a worthy contribution...
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Good Will Hunting

May 10, 2009
By Freakmaster
Good Will Hunting

At various times throughout my youth I had BB Guns, pellet guns, a machete, archery gear, an array of deadly fireworks that would rival a military ammo dump, and even a .22 caliber rifle, but for all of that I just didn’t have the heart of a hunter. Tin cans I could brutally mow...
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Cowboy, Down On The Farm

April 20, 2009
By Freakmaster
Cowboy, Down On The Farm

From the ages of about 9 to 12 I used to go with my mother to visit my Great Aunt Louise at her cabin in Brainard, Minnesota. I loved Aunt Louise and looked forward to seeing her in the summer. By the time I hit 12, two major things had changed my summer vacation...
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